In the Name of Allah,
All praise is due to Allah, the one who created everything.
If I make a mistake, it is from my ego, and if I say something good, it is from Allah.
"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): verily in that are Signs for those who reflect." (Quran 30:21)
This world depends upon the societies that exist in this world. Society of Humans. Society of bacterias. Societies of animals. Societies of plants. Societies of rocks. So on and so forth. Society of humans depends upon families. Family depends upon the relationship of wife and husband. All other societies were created to serve the society of humans. In essence, the whole world revolves around the bond between a husband and wife.
In order for this bond to exist, there are pulls and pushes (rights on each other), just like a bond between a sodium (Na) and chloride (Cl) atoms have, in the salt molecule. God, due to his immense love for his creation, sent us the balanced push and pull model to keep the molecule of the family stable. Slight imbalance in this ratio can result in an explosion or disintegration. Either is bad.
Islam is the only system that provide those details, and if one doesn't follow the rules provided in Islamic Sharia, they are taking a chance with their relationship.
"Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.)" (Quran 4:34)
Since Allah created the man and women different, with different abilities and different needs, it is absurd to think that the bond between a big atom and a small atom can be created by an equal force of push and pull (rights). Non-Islamic culture try their best to setup that bond, but sometimes explosions are happening (man abusing their wives), and sometimes disintegrations are happening (divorce). Only if they read Quran and follow it that they will find the best balance of rights and duties. So What is this balance prescribed by the creator himself?
"...And women shall have rights similar to the rights against them, according to what is equitable; but men have a degree (of advantage) over them. And Allah is Exalted in Power, Wise." (Quran 2:228)
Following is the explaination of this verse by the second most knowledgable person in Quranic understanding.
Ibn `Abbas said, "I like to take care of my appearance for my wife just as I like for her to take care of her appearance for me. This is because Allah says:
[وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِى عَلَيْهِنَّ بِالْمَعْرُوفِ]
(And they (women) have rights similar (to those of their husbands) over them to what is reasonable.)'' This statement is reported by Ibn Jarir and Ibn Abu Hatim (Ibn Kathir)
In a nutshell, husband and wife has same rights over each other, except what is distinguished or reasonably different. If we don't find an instruction in Islam which differentiate the rights of man from woman, and there is no logical difference in the rights, equal rights must be applied.
Some of the examples of Allah's command to distinguish the rights of man from woman is follows.
- Woman has the right to be fed, and provided, without any promise of anything in return ( such as house work or cooking etc)
- Woman has the right to own property without sharing with husband, but she has the right to share in husband's earnings.
- Woman has the right for extra liniency during her menstural periods from Allah and man.
- Man has the right to go to the wife, unless she is physically unable to like sickness. Woman can not refuse because she does not feel the urge. This is to prevent man from commiting adultery, because man is weaker than woman in perseverance
- Man has the right to chose who his wife befriends (male or female).
- Woman has the right to sin, as given to every human by Allah, and husband is not responsible for her sins, but he is responsible to share the knowledge required to make the decision.
- Man has the right to divorce, if there is an acceptable reason
- Woman has the right to seek divorce from the authorities, if she is being opressed.
- Woman has the right to work, if it doesn't interfere with other rights.
....
I understand that many rights listed here are contraversial, and if you beleive that I got them wrong, please contact me with evidence and logical proof using that evidence for Quran and Sunnah.
I would like to discuss the right to sin that I listed above. Many men confuse the slightly higher status Allah gave to man as a permission to police the wife's piety. They will compel her to follow Islam like she is a child. Now, children have to be compelled to pray Salah, but thats only until they reach pubirty. We are not allowed to compel anyone over the age of pubirty to follow Islam. And, establishing marital relation is not allowed before the age of pubirty in Islam.
"There is no compulsion in Islam" (Qur'an, 2:256)
This command applies to husbands towards their wives as well, because there is no evidence of an exception. Upperhand given to man is to resolve conflict and make decision in the matters of family, and not to make the wife pious. For example if wife did not follow the command of Hijab before marraige, and the husband try to compel her to wear hijab, it is an opression. He accepted her in marraige with her existing piety level. On the other hand, if she was wearing hijab, and then stops wearing it after marraige, then the rules of indecency will apply and husband has several choice and one of them is to divorce her. There is no option to imprison her or compel her to follow.
"O People! it is true that you have certain rights with regard to your women but they also have rights over you. Remember that you have taken them as your wives only under Allah's trust and with His permission. If they abide by your right then to them belongs the right to be fed and clothed in kindness. Do treat your women well and be kind to them for they are your partners and committed helpers. And it is your right that they do not make friends with anyone of whom you do not approve, as well as never to be unchaste." (Last Sermon of Muhammad (PBUH))
In fact, rights of husband and wife are equal to each other, except a few matters where Allah has given man a upper hand, and that is for a reason. Allah has given man the upper hand on administrative matters, and he has the final authority on matters that relate to family in general. If no one has an upper hand in those matters, it would be very difficult to run the family. Allah has given man the right to approve his wife's friend and Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used his last sermon make that ruling. If man had the right to decide for everything in wife's life, it was a waste of our Prophet (PBUH) time to mention that, whereas he never said more than what was needed. And he reminded men that they will be judged for their treatment of their wives, which I think is the most important part of the relationship.
A pious huband should be more afraid of abusing his authority then his wife not looking like a pious woman, because the former leads to Hell fire, and the later leads to a personal jealousy. So, extra precaution should be taken when invoking the upperhand right, and it should be similar to President of the United States invoking the right to veto a bill.
Here is how I deal with my wife, and if you like you can follow it. My wife was a non-muslim, and accepted Islam before we got married. After 9 years of Marraige, I started practicing Islam, and wanted her to practice Islam, but I was scared to become tyrant, and never asked her to wear hijab. I did however pointed out the verse in the Quran to her ordering women to wear hijab, and made the case when the opportunity arose. Once she accepted Allah as the final authority on everything, she chose to wear hijab, and my dua was accepted. If she didn't chose it, I would have died married to her, and died praying for her. She will answer for her own deeds, and I will answer for my deeds.
This does not mean that if the husband or wife is commiting indecent acts that you do not warn them and separate from them. It just means that we should have enough taqwa and understanding to convince our spouses regarding the truth, instead of telling them that they ought to do "this".
If we live in a unIslamic society (which is the whole world right now), we should be extra linient towards women, except what ordained by Allah.
The Prophet Muhammad (SAWS) was reported to have said: 'The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is one who has excellent behavior; and the best among you are those who behave best towards their wives" (From Mishkat al-Masabih, No. 0278(R) Transmitted by Tirmidhi).
And Allah Knows best
JazakAllah Khairin
A Struggling Husband
Abu Arman (Adnan Jumani)
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Do you give preference to some people?
In the Name of Allah,
All praise is due to Allah, who created all of us.
أيها الناس إن ربكم واحد وإن أباكم واحد كلكم لآدم وآدم من تراب أكرمكم عند الله اتقاكم، وليس لعربي على عجمي فضل إلا بالتقوى
(Muhammad ibn Abdullah (PBUH))
I saw many translation of this statement, but none match the arabic exactly. I am going to try to translate it literally so we can understand this better. Please correct me if I make mistakes here.
"O People! Your lord is one, and your father is one, Adam, and Adam was created from dust. In the sight of Allah, Arab is not preffered over Non-Arab, except in Taqwa"
Of course, the meaning of the statement is paraphrased many ways, but it is good to stay close to Arabic then using the various translations.
I don't know how many of you come across this, but I get different reaction from people when I dress differently. If I am wearing Paksitani Kameez and Shalwar (national dress), Arabs will not be eager to extend their hands to me, and some Pakistanis/Indians will recognize me. On the other hand, If I wear "Taub" (Single long Arabic shirt), Arabs would receive me with a smile and Pakistanis/Indians will see through me like they didn't see me.
Interestingly, one day the Mauzzin of the masjid told me that he is having hard time recognizing, because I wear different caps every day. I just smiled, because I didn't know what to say. It is true that I wear all types of dress to Masjid, because I do this outside the masjid. Why would I pretend to be someone in the masjid that I am not? Of course, the requirements is that clothes should be clean, loose, and the best when attending Masjid.
This biast opinion is not only due to appearence, but it leaks into person's wealth, political affiliation, social status, size of the beard, color of the beard, age, race, ethnicity, etc. This is visible in Muslim countries many folds, and sometimes people are opressed due to incompatibility of these attributes, which they have no control over, and Allah has chosen for them.
For example, When I landed in Jeddah for Hajj, Saudi Airline agents treated me like I was asking them for loan, whereas I was willing to pay them money for two seats for me and my mother. As I stepped back, an Arab couple walked up and got the seats without paying anything, because we all missed the same flight, so we all had the old boarding pass. My sin was that I spoke with them in English, and I was not someone they preffered. So, me and my mother slept on the foot path for 24 hours, watching all Saudi citizen escorted to the gate without waiting in the line like others. Anyways, this is the story of some other day. I seek justice against those Saudis from Allah alone.
Everywhere I go among Muslims, I see preference is being given to people who have wealth or influence. Even among my relatives, service will be provided to you on the basis of how much benefit you could provide for them in return. Even in my masjid, all Arabs line up on the right side of the first row, and all Non-Arabs line up on the left side of the first row.
However, when dealing with non-muslims, preference is given to the one who has the best character or more need. For example, When standing in the line of IRS service center, an officer will not come and say, "Hey, aren't you the son of the Detective John? You don't have to stand in the line, come with me" or "Hey, let him (a white caucacian) come ahead of you".
In fact, when I went to get a refund for my same ticket that they will not extend to next flight in Saudi Airlines office, there is a ticket machine to get a number. The office is right behind The grave of the Prophet (PBUH). I walked up to the machine and start selecting the options to get the ticket. I had some trouble so I tried a couple of times. Meanwhile a local with nice clean traditional dress walked in behind me. He came and stand behind me, since I was still using the machine. Security guard cam running, and start waving me to step back and indicated that the Arab shoud go first. I got mad, so I stared at him, and put my hand forward, and turn to the machine and got my number. My patience had run out by then, and I was only been to Saudi for two days. I got the ticket and sat right in the front, leaving behind the two Arabs wondering about me. May Allah forgive me for the rudeness.
Now, how did we got to this point that right behind the grave of the person who uttered the above words, Arabs are being preffered over non-Arabs. May be my taqwa indicator on my forehead was malfunctioning and the security guard was confused by that, or may be some Saudis have degenerated in obedience to the Prophet that they disobey right in the vicinity of his grave.
Similarly, I visited Pakistan, and saw similar preference but the preffered people were with connections and wealth. Some have gone to the extent to demand the preference as their right due to their father's political connection or wealth. One difference is that if you force the issue with Arabs, they will accept your right sometimes, and help you out. However, in Pakistan, they will physically grab you and throw you out. God forbid that you have a beard, and traditional clothes, because that is an open invitation for any Pakistani to treat you like illiterate and you may not be able to enter a restarunt.
This has to end, and all of us have to change that. Would you smile and greet a person of your race, but pass right by the person of other race? I see this everyday in the masjid.
I would like to challenge everyone on this thread to greet arabs if they are non-arabs, and non-arabs if they are arabs in the masjid, out of their way to balance it out. Don't bend backwards if the relative has more wealth, and ignore the one who is poor. Avoid the people who sin openly, and connect with the ones with more taqwa, or atleast the ones who don't sin openly, because there is more chance of having higher taqwa, if you don't sin in public and have shame.
Please obey the Prophet (PBUH), and ignore people's appearence, wealth, political influence, age, race...and treat them equally in all matters, and please don't wear kameez shalwar and taub in the masjid consistently, and Paints and shirt in your clinic or offices.
I have suffered greatly because of treating people equal, and most of the people don't invite me, or come to my home, but it gives me such a pleasure to know that I am obeying the Prophet (PBUH), and willing to go through this Isolation for the rest of my life, in hopes to be among the ones liked by Allah, and meet my guide at kauthar and have him recognize me for a second. Ameen
We should love who Allah loves, and despise who Allah despise.
JazakAllah Khairin
Son of Adam and nothing more.
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
All praise is due to Allah, who created all of us.
أيها الناس إن ربكم واحد وإن أباكم واحد كلكم لآدم وآدم من تراب أكرمكم عند الله اتقاكم، وليس لعربي على عجمي فضل إلا بالتقوى
(Muhammad ibn Abdullah (PBUH))
I saw many translation of this statement, but none match the arabic exactly. I am going to try to translate it literally so we can understand this better. Please correct me if I make mistakes here.
"O People! Your lord is one, and your father is one, Adam, and Adam was created from dust. In the sight of Allah, Arab is not preffered over Non-Arab, except in Taqwa"
Of course, the meaning of the statement is paraphrased many ways, but it is good to stay close to Arabic then using the various translations.
I don't know how many of you come across this, but I get different reaction from people when I dress differently. If I am wearing Paksitani Kameez and Shalwar (national dress), Arabs will not be eager to extend their hands to me, and some Pakistanis/Indians will recognize me. On the other hand, If I wear "Taub" (Single long Arabic shirt), Arabs would receive me with a smile and Pakistanis/Indians will see through me like they didn't see me.
Interestingly, one day the Mauzzin of the masjid told me that he is having hard time recognizing, because I wear different caps every day. I just smiled, because I didn't know what to say. It is true that I wear all types of dress to Masjid, because I do this outside the masjid. Why would I pretend to be someone in the masjid that I am not? Of course, the requirements is that clothes should be clean, loose, and the best when attending Masjid.
This biast opinion is not only due to appearence, but it leaks into person's wealth, political affiliation, social status, size of the beard, color of the beard, age, race, ethnicity, etc. This is visible in Muslim countries many folds, and sometimes people are opressed due to incompatibility of these attributes, which they have no control over, and Allah has chosen for them.
For example, When I landed in Jeddah for Hajj, Saudi Airline agents treated me like I was asking them for loan, whereas I was willing to pay them money for two seats for me and my mother. As I stepped back, an Arab couple walked up and got the seats without paying anything, because we all missed the same flight, so we all had the old boarding pass. My sin was that I spoke with them in English, and I was not someone they preffered. So, me and my mother slept on the foot path for 24 hours, watching all Saudi citizen escorted to the gate without waiting in the line like others. Anyways, this is the story of some other day. I seek justice against those Saudis from Allah alone.
Everywhere I go among Muslims, I see preference is being given to people who have wealth or influence. Even among my relatives, service will be provided to you on the basis of how much benefit you could provide for them in return. Even in my masjid, all Arabs line up on the right side of the first row, and all Non-Arabs line up on the left side of the first row.
However, when dealing with non-muslims, preference is given to the one who has the best character or more need. For example, When standing in the line of IRS service center, an officer will not come and say, "Hey, aren't you the son of the Detective John? You don't have to stand in the line, come with me" or "Hey, let him (a white caucacian) come ahead of you".
In fact, when I went to get a refund for my same ticket that they will not extend to next flight in Saudi Airlines office, there is a ticket machine to get a number. The office is right behind The grave of the Prophet (PBUH). I walked up to the machine and start selecting the options to get the ticket. I had some trouble so I tried a couple of times. Meanwhile a local with nice clean traditional dress walked in behind me. He came and stand behind me, since I was still using the machine. Security guard cam running, and start waving me to step back and indicated that the Arab shoud go first. I got mad, so I stared at him, and put my hand forward, and turn to the machine and got my number. My patience had run out by then, and I was only been to Saudi for two days. I got the ticket and sat right in the front, leaving behind the two Arabs wondering about me. May Allah forgive me for the rudeness.
Now, how did we got to this point that right behind the grave of the person who uttered the above words, Arabs are being preffered over non-Arabs. May be my taqwa indicator on my forehead was malfunctioning and the security guard was confused by that, or may be some Saudis have degenerated in obedience to the Prophet that they disobey right in the vicinity of his grave.
Similarly, I visited Pakistan, and saw similar preference but the preffered people were with connections and wealth. Some have gone to the extent to demand the preference as their right due to their father's political connection or wealth. One difference is that if you force the issue with Arabs, they will accept your right sometimes, and help you out. However, in Pakistan, they will physically grab you and throw you out. God forbid that you have a beard, and traditional clothes, because that is an open invitation for any Pakistani to treat you like illiterate and you may not be able to enter a restarunt.
This has to end, and all of us have to change that. Would you smile and greet a person of your race, but pass right by the person of other race? I see this everyday in the masjid.
I would like to challenge everyone on this thread to greet arabs if they are non-arabs, and non-arabs if they are arabs in the masjid, out of their way to balance it out. Don't bend backwards if the relative has more wealth, and ignore the one who is poor. Avoid the people who sin openly, and connect with the ones with more taqwa, or atleast the ones who don't sin openly, because there is more chance of having higher taqwa, if you don't sin in public and have shame.
Please obey the Prophet (PBUH), and ignore people's appearence, wealth, political influence, age, race...and treat them equally in all matters, and please don't wear kameez shalwar and taub in the masjid consistently, and Paints and shirt in your clinic or offices.
I have suffered greatly because of treating people equal, and most of the people don't invite me, or come to my home, but it gives me such a pleasure to know that I am obeying the Prophet (PBUH), and willing to go through this Isolation for the rest of my life, in hopes to be among the ones liked by Allah, and meet my guide at kauthar and have him recognize me for a second. Ameen
We should love who Allah loves, and despise who Allah despise.
JazakAllah Khairin
Son of Adam and nothing more.
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Is wudu valid with Nail Polish?
In the Name of Allah,
All praise is due to Allah, the owner of the day of judgement.
Anything wrong I say is from my ego, and anything good is from Allah.
"Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded." Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 38
Someone close to me asked me if nail polish need to be remvoed for wudu to be valid?
Everywhere I read it said that there is no ruling against wearing nail polish and salat is accepted with it, except the wudu will not be valid with nail polish on. I thought there must be a hadith regarding this for them to require removal of nail polish. The reason given was that water will not touch the nail when nail polish is on, because the water will not go through the polish to touch the nail.
I agree that Wudu or bath is not complete unless all areas are wet and wiped.
However, I disagree that nail polish invalidates wudu, because the same way water doesn't go through the polish the impurities doesn't either
Don't we do masah over socks and the wudu is accepted, so water touching the skin is not the requirement, if the skin underneath was purified before putting on the leather socks. So, if the woman purifies herself, and puts on nail polish, the same rules must apply.
What if one works as a worker where he paints houses, and there is a time for salat. He has paint drop all over his hair, his face, and his hands. Does he need to remove every single drop of paint so the water can touch the skin? No sane person would ask him to do that for every salat. Yes, he should try to rub his hands with soap for wudu and try to remove big chuncks as much as possible, but his wudu would be valid and salat be valid with wudu done over paints, given that he purified himself before starting.
Why is that men socks that he can remove in a jiffy is ok to massa on, but a permanent layer that won't allow dirt under it makes a person unclean? It does not.
When something is covering our skin which is afixed in a way that it doesn't allow anything pass it should not be a bearer for being clean, and performing wudu.
Following is the fatwa where the reason for allowing masah is given as that leather socks don't allow imprities to touch the skin
http://www.daruliftaa.com/question.asp?txt_QuestionID=q-20085196
Similarly, nail polish is a covering that doesn't allow the impurities to enter either. Hence, it must be allowed for women to perform wudu while having nail polish.
Let us not create double standard for women, because they don't have a voice in these matters, and be extra fearful on their matters for that same exact reason. As a follower of Muhammad ibn Abdullah (PBUH) I will fight for women rights till my death.
And Allah knows best.
JazakAllah Khairin
A struggling Muslim
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
All praise is due to Allah, the owner of the day of judgement.
Anything wrong I say is from my ego, and anything good is from Allah.
"Religion is very easy and whoever overburdens himself in his religion will not be able to continue in that way. So you should not be extremists, but try to be near to perfection and receive the good tidings that you will be rewarded." Sahih Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 2, Number 38
Someone close to me asked me if nail polish need to be remvoed for wudu to be valid?
Everywhere I read it said that there is no ruling against wearing nail polish and salat is accepted with it, except the wudu will not be valid with nail polish on. I thought there must be a hadith regarding this for them to require removal of nail polish. The reason given was that water will not touch the nail when nail polish is on, because the water will not go through the polish to touch the nail.
I agree that Wudu or bath is not complete unless all areas are wet and wiped.
However, I disagree that nail polish invalidates wudu, because the same way water doesn't go through the polish the impurities doesn't either
Don't we do masah over socks and the wudu is accepted, so water touching the skin is not the requirement, if the skin underneath was purified before putting on the leather socks. So, if the woman purifies herself, and puts on nail polish, the same rules must apply.
What if one works as a worker where he paints houses, and there is a time for salat. He has paint drop all over his hair, his face, and his hands. Does he need to remove every single drop of paint so the water can touch the skin? No sane person would ask him to do that for every salat. Yes, he should try to rub his hands with soap for wudu and try to remove big chuncks as much as possible, but his wudu would be valid and salat be valid with wudu done over paints, given that he purified himself before starting.
Why is that men socks that he can remove in a jiffy is ok to massa on, but a permanent layer that won't allow dirt under it makes a person unclean? It does not.
When something is covering our skin which is afixed in a way that it doesn't allow anything pass it should not be a bearer for being clean, and performing wudu.
Following is the fatwa where the reason for allowing masah is given as that leather socks don't allow imprities to touch the skin
http://www.daruliftaa.com/question.asp?txt_QuestionID=q-20085196
Similarly, nail polish is a covering that doesn't allow the impurities to enter either. Hence, it must be allowed for women to perform wudu while having nail polish.
Let us not create double standard for women, because they don't have a voice in these matters, and be extra fearful on their matters for that same exact reason. As a follower of Muhammad ibn Abdullah (PBUH) I will fight for women rights till my death.
And Allah knows best.
JazakAllah Khairin
A struggling Muslim
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
Thursday, February 10, 2011
What is wrong with Valentine's day?
In the Name of Allah,
All praise is due to Allah, the owner of the day of judgement.
If I make a mistake, it is from my ego, and anything good I say is from Allah.
"And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fahishah (immoral sin)" (Quran 17:32)
The above ayah of Quran is prohibiting not only the act of Zina (illegal sex), but going close to it. It means that any activity or tradition, or gathering, or clothing, or habbit, etc that could lead to desires of Zina is prohibited. In light of this ayah, muslims are prohibited to participate in such activities, regardless of their background.
Valentine's day has roots deep in paganism, and there are many stories describing pagans celebrating fertility gods, and choosing wives randomly, and such. Only Allah knows the truth, and we don't need to discuss that, because there is not alot of evidence of that.
Today, this day represents celebrating love between a couple who are tied with a bond of physical attraction, and it is very popular. Every one is under the spell, and running around buying gifts and cards, and jewelery. On the surface, it seems very innocent, and harmless, and may be a catalyst for love in the world of hate. I would like to present the other side of the story.
Some who celebrate this day are married, and some who are unmarried. First, lets discuss the ones who are unmarried. Celebrating Valentine's day requires two non-mahram to communicate romantically, and is the definition of getting closer to Zina. Hence, the intention is to get involved in a romantic relationship, which is prohibited by the above ayah. Following hadith should be an eye opener for us.
Imam Ahmad recorded Abu Umamah saying that a young man came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah! Give me permission to commit Zina (unlawful sex).'' The people surrounded him and rebuked him, saying, "Stop! Stop!'' But the Prophet said,
(Come close) The young man came to him, and he said,
(Sit down) so he sat down. The Prophet said,
(Would you like it (unlawful sex) for your mother) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their mothers.) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your daughter) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their daughters. ) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your sister) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their sisters.) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your paternal aunt) He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their paternal aunts.) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your maternal aunt) He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their maternal aunts.) Then the Prophet put his hand on him and said,
(O Allah, forgive his sin, purify his heart and guard his chastity.) After that the young man never paid attention to anything of that nature.
How beautiful this explaination was from Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). If you are trying to establish romantic relationship with non-mahram woman or vice versa, would you mind if another man do the same to your sister, daughter, or mother? We should always think in this fashion when these indecent desire come to us.
If you like someone of opposite sex, get together with them under supervision to get to know them, and propose for marraige right away, leaving no room for Zina. This is the key to successful life.
Now, lets talk about married muslim couple celebrating Valentine's day.
First of all, selecting a day a year to celebrate our loves to our spouses is not fair, because it should be a continuous show of affection, and gifts of compromise, respect, and sacrifice should be given on a weekly if not daily basis. Jewelry and material gifts do not strengthen the bonds, but showing the willingness to sacrifice our desires for them is the real bond.
Second, any celebration that is a gateway to Zina, as is Valentine's day, should not be even discussed in muslim families. Let alone celebrated. Why not give the gifts on Eid day, instead? Why not give on occassions when least expected to increase the excitement? Why not give the money in charity on their behalf, so it is converted to currency of hereafter, where we will spend most of our lives, if we beleive?
Would you attend a gathering, where Zina is the theme? I wouldn't. Muslims should stay away from Valentine's day, and enjoins other to do the same.
And Allah knows best.
JazakAllah Khairin
A loving Muslim
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
All praise is due to Allah, the owner of the day of judgement.
If I make a mistake, it is from my ego, and anything good I say is from Allah.
"And come not near to unlawful sex. Verily, it is a Fahishah (immoral sin)" (Quran 17:32)
The above ayah of Quran is prohibiting not only the act of Zina (illegal sex), but going close to it. It means that any activity or tradition, or gathering, or clothing, or habbit, etc that could lead to desires of Zina is prohibited. In light of this ayah, muslims are prohibited to participate in such activities, regardless of their background.
Valentine's day has roots deep in paganism, and there are many stories describing pagans celebrating fertility gods, and choosing wives randomly, and such. Only Allah knows the truth, and we don't need to discuss that, because there is not alot of evidence of that.
Today, this day represents celebrating love between a couple who are tied with a bond of physical attraction, and it is very popular. Every one is under the spell, and running around buying gifts and cards, and jewelery. On the surface, it seems very innocent, and harmless, and may be a catalyst for love in the world of hate. I would like to present the other side of the story.
Some who celebrate this day are married, and some who are unmarried. First, lets discuss the ones who are unmarried. Celebrating Valentine's day requires two non-mahram to communicate romantically, and is the definition of getting closer to Zina. Hence, the intention is to get involved in a romantic relationship, which is prohibited by the above ayah. Following hadith should be an eye opener for us.
Imam Ahmad recorded Abu Umamah saying that a young man came to the Prophet and said, "O Messenger of Allah! Give me permission to commit Zina (unlawful sex).'' The people surrounded him and rebuked him, saying, "Stop! Stop!'' But the Prophet said,
(Come close) The young man came to him, and he said,
(Sit down) so he sat down. The Prophet said,
(Would you like it (unlawful sex) for your mother) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their mothers.) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your daughter) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their daughters. ) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your sister) He said, "No, by Allah, may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their sisters.) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your paternal aunt) He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their paternal aunts.) The Prophet said,
(Would you like it for your maternal aunt) He said, "No, by Allah, O Allah's Messenger! may I be ransomed for you.'' The Prophet said,
(Neither do the people like it for their maternal aunts.) Then the Prophet put his hand on him and said,
(O Allah, forgive his sin, purify his heart and guard his chastity.) After that the young man never paid attention to anything of that nature.
How beautiful this explaination was from Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). If you are trying to establish romantic relationship with non-mahram woman or vice versa, would you mind if another man do the same to your sister, daughter, or mother? We should always think in this fashion when these indecent desire come to us.
If you like someone of opposite sex, get together with them under supervision to get to know them, and propose for marraige right away, leaving no room for Zina. This is the key to successful life.
Now, lets talk about married muslim couple celebrating Valentine's day.
First of all, selecting a day a year to celebrate our loves to our spouses is not fair, because it should be a continuous show of affection, and gifts of compromise, respect, and sacrifice should be given on a weekly if not daily basis. Jewelry and material gifts do not strengthen the bonds, but showing the willingness to sacrifice our desires for them is the real bond.
Second, any celebration that is a gateway to Zina, as is Valentine's day, should not be even discussed in muslim families. Let alone celebrated. Why not give the gifts on Eid day, instead? Why not give on occassions when least expected to increase the excitement? Why not give the money in charity on their behalf, so it is converted to currency of hereafter, where we will spend most of our lives, if we beleive?
Would you attend a gathering, where Zina is the theme? I wouldn't. Muslims should stay away from Valentine's day, and enjoins other to do the same.
And Allah knows best.
JazakAllah Khairin
A loving Muslim
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Celebrating Prophet's Birthday (Milad)
In the name of Allah,
All Praise is due to Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
If I make a mistake it is from my ego, and anything good I say is from Allah.
I just came back from Isha Salat, and feel like avoided a big gathering of weirdness. It was surreal. Imam gave a long speech after Salah about everyone should either become a scholar or a student of Deen. I love the Imam from bottom of my heart, and he looked very sincere. But, Why would a lame person do that? Why would they learn deen? If they need Nikah done, they will come to the Imam. If they need a fatwa on if Talaq took place, they will ask Imam. If there is an occassion, they will ask Imam to "perform" dua.
See there is no incentive for lame person to learn deen, and it is like telling me to learn about medicine so when I get sick, I can diagnos myself and make myself healthy. Well, I am not learning medicine, and lame person is not learning about deen. Taqleed is enough for them, because all they need to know is that hands should be tied below the navel. If we remove Taqleed, people will come to deen because then it will have an attraction for them. With all answers provided, there is no motivation. Interestingly, after my recent blogs, many more took interest in the tafsir class, and it will continue, if we allow muslims to explore the deen. Ameen
I am sorry, but this was not my intended topic. What happened is that Imam told everyone that celebrating Milad (Birth day of Prophet (PBUH)) is Bid'aa meaning an innovation to the method of worship, which is a major sin. I felt really proud to be sitting there, but at the end he said something that made me think. He said that there will be dinner after rest of the salah.
Hold on a sec! I may be jumping the gun but what is the dinner for? Is that for the Milad? Finally, I realized why there were more people in the masjid. We can't condemn others for celebrating Milad, and allow the dinner to take place. At that point I knew that I had to run for the exit, because I was having hard time breathing. Suddenly the masjid became the marraige hall, and people start talking loud and laughing while others pray salah. I tried to warn them, but there were too many of them, and I was alone.
Celebrating Milad is the symptom of a cancer that has been spread among muslims. Since a person is discouraged from questioning the evidence and validity of the opinions formed by some scholars, common person blindly follow (Taqleed) what scholar would tell them to be permissible. It is like spreading honey on the floor intentionally, and then try to wave the flies off.
Muslims are not doing Milad because they want to do shrik, and worship Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). In fact, Chrstians don't do shirk because they want to associate partner with God. They do it, because the Priest told them it is the truth. Similarly, "Mawlwis" would announce that it is a blessing to attribute siffat of Allah with Muhammad (PBUH) a human.
Actually, the scholars are not to be blamed either, because their hands are tied, because Taqleed asks them to not challenge anything unless they have reached the highest level of Ijtihad. Excuse me! but that is an impossible status to reach. Oh I see. That is the plan. Hence, the story of four brothers continues, and Milad continues, sajda on grave continues.
Here is a thought. Challenge Everything! Whenever you don't agree with your Imam, ask him for proof. Whenever you are ask to follow a method, ask for proof. Whenever someone asks to do dinner in Masjid on 10 Rabialawwal, say No.
I will let these great scholars of deen provide the proof against Milad, as I am just a common person who unfortunately has opened his eyes during a global slumber. Going back to sleep now...
Shaikh Bin Baaz
http://www.qss.org/articles/milad.html
Mufti Taqi Uthmani
http://www.albalagh.net/qa/milad_qa.shtml
JazakAllah Khairin
Definately a non-scholar, and proud to be one,
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
All Praise is due to Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful.
If I make a mistake it is from my ego, and anything good I say is from Allah.
I just came back from Isha Salat, and feel like avoided a big gathering of weirdness. It was surreal. Imam gave a long speech after Salah about everyone should either become a scholar or a student of Deen. I love the Imam from bottom of my heart, and he looked very sincere. But, Why would a lame person do that? Why would they learn deen? If they need Nikah done, they will come to the Imam. If they need a fatwa on if Talaq took place, they will ask Imam. If there is an occassion, they will ask Imam to "perform" dua.
See there is no incentive for lame person to learn deen, and it is like telling me to learn about medicine so when I get sick, I can diagnos myself and make myself healthy. Well, I am not learning medicine, and lame person is not learning about deen. Taqleed is enough for them, because all they need to know is that hands should be tied below the navel. If we remove Taqleed, people will come to deen because then it will have an attraction for them. With all answers provided, there is no motivation. Interestingly, after my recent blogs, many more took interest in the tafsir class, and it will continue, if we allow muslims to explore the deen. Ameen
I am sorry, but this was not my intended topic. What happened is that Imam told everyone that celebrating Milad (Birth day of Prophet (PBUH)) is Bid'aa meaning an innovation to the method of worship, which is a major sin. I felt really proud to be sitting there, but at the end he said something that made me think. He said that there will be dinner after rest of the salah.
Hold on a sec! I may be jumping the gun but what is the dinner for? Is that for the Milad? Finally, I realized why there were more people in the masjid. We can't condemn others for celebrating Milad, and allow the dinner to take place. At that point I knew that I had to run for the exit, because I was having hard time breathing. Suddenly the masjid became the marraige hall, and people start talking loud and laughing while others pray salah. I tried to warn them, but there were too many of them, and I was alone.
Celebrating Milad is the symptom of a cancer that has been spread among muslims. Since a person is discouraged from questioning the evidence and validity of the opinions formed by some scholars, common person blindly follow (Taqleed) what scholar would tell them to be permissible. It is like spreading honey on the floor intentionally, and then try to wave the flies off.
Muslims are not doing Milad because they want to do shrik, and worship Prophet Muhammad (PBUH). In fact, Chrstians don't do shirk because they want to associate partner with God. They do it, because the Priest told them it is the truth. Similarly, "Mawlwis" would announce that it is a blessing to attribute siffat of Allah with Muhammad (PBUH) a human.
Actually, the scholars are not to be blamed either, because their hands are tied, because Taqleed asks them to not challenge anything unless they have reached the highest level of Ijtihad. Excuse me! but that is an impossible status to reach. Oh I see. That is the plan. Hence, the story of four brothers continues, and Milad continues, sajda on grave continues.
Here is a thought. Challenge Everything! Whenever you don't agree with your Imam, ask him for proof. Whenever you are ask to follow a method, ask for proof. Whenever someone asks to do dinner in Masjid on 10 Rabialawwal, say No.
I will let these great scholars of deen provide the proof against Milad, as I am just a common person who unfortunately has opened his eyes during a global slumber. Going back to sleep now...
Shaikh Bin Baaz
http://www.qss.org/articles/milad.html
Mufti Taqi Uthmani
http://www.albalagh.net/qa/milad_qa.shtml
JazakAllah Khairin
Definately a non-scholar, and proud to be one,
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
Monday, January 31, 2011
The story of four brothers
In the Name of Allah, the most beneficient, the most Merciful.
Once upon a time, there was a kind person named Muhammad lived with his wife in a small village. Allah gave him four sons, Hanif, Malik, Ahmad, and Shafee. He loved his sons, and taught them good manners, and how to worship Allah. All four were the most obedient, and pious. Later, Allah gave him more sons and daughters, but these four were the most prominent ones.
Muhammad taught all of his kids that they are like limbs of a single body, and if one would suffer, others should cry out in pain. Also, that regardless of disagreements they should follow his teachings, and stay united so the outsiders cannot take advantage of them. He also taught them that disagreement will not harm them, but dividing into separate groups will.
One day Muhammad passed away leaving behind a big state and many children, but he ordered in his will that the estate should never be divided, because their strength was in the unity, and all his children should live together. All his children understood this, and taught their children the same message.
The estate was too big, so each of the four eldest divided responsibilities, and setup rules to help their children complete tasks, but the central control was still the core rules setup by Muhammad. Each of the four rules were based upon wisdom, and knowledge, but they were not same, since created by a human being.
On occassion, there will be conflicts, where two brothers rules contradicted each other, and a solution has to be reached. So, all will gather together, and debate to figure out which rule should be used. Usually the brother Hanif's rules be used since he had the skill to extrapolate in new situations. Slowly, most of their children used rules from Hanif, but some still used rules from other brothers. All brothers have commanded their kids to accept the other brother if their argument has the direct teaching of their grand father Muhammad, because all of them were following his rules. In essence, if any of the rule contradicted an explicit rule of Muhammad, it must be abandoned, and the brother who got the correct rule should be followed.
Despite the different rules, some children would follow the best of all four rules, because they had learned the art of deriving rules. There was a brotherhood at the core of the family, and everyone stayed together in the same estaet, and the size of the family kept increasing. Unfortunately, all of the children of Muhammad passed away one by one, but his grand children were maintaining the unity, and staying with one identity of the estate.
After many years, several generations were passed, and new generation were now running the estate. They did not like the arguing on the rules, and wanted to stablize the rule system so there are less conflicts. Also, the pride in the family lineage took hold of some of the people in the family, and they begin to identifying the original rules of the four brothers, and started to adopt rules solely based on their father from those four, and started rejecting the rules from other three brothers. These were the richest of the family, so they were able to implement their version of rules for their part of the estate. Everything was still normal, because they all lived together, but there was a certain pride to their rule system now.
In fact, there were always people in the family who debated and fixed problems with the rules as new situation arise in the estate, but they always kept the rules of Muhammad to be unchanging, and allowed changes to all other rules. This kept the unity among them, and protected against any foreign influence. This was the golden rule that was never to be broken. They are not allowed to form other estates, hence weakening the family.
However, the movement to establish four rules independent of each other won, and the estate was divided into four different functional bodies, each following a certain rules from the original four brothers. This worked for a while, but after a while, it became clear that the four functional parts of the estate has become separate estates in themselves, and cannot function as a single estate. This was due to the strict adherence to the single set of rules, and no allowance for deabte from other parts of the estate.
After several years, the estate of Muhammad became the four estate, and were moved to different cities. Hence, the brotherhood ended, and estate of Muhammad was lost. Conflicts on the rules were reduced, but the cost was too high, because now the people identified as the new four estates more than they identified as the original estate.
Four city estate ruled that if one becomes the resident of the city, they are not allowed to visit the other cities, or work there. In essence, they claimed that a person must follow the rules of the city in all circumstances to be protected from the foreign looters and the King who owned everything.
However, there was a small group of people lived outside the cities, who worked in all four cities, and kept the original rules of Muhammad alive. The small group of people living outside worked on bringing unity among the four cities, and wanted to remove illegal and illogical rules from the rules of the four cities. Interestingly, they were labelled as the spies of the other cities, when they argue against a certain rule to be baseless, and yelled at or threatened. On one such occassion, a person asked "Can we live in this city, but follow some rules that seem more correct from the explaination of the leader of the other city?" answer was "NO! NO! once you sign up here, you must follow all rules good or bad. "
One powerful analogy given by the cities to the minority group living outside the city is "How do you know what is best for you? Don't you need a cardioligist to diagnose heart issues, and you should trust his opinion over the opinion of a non-cardioligist?" Answer given "Yes, it is true that one has to be cardioligist to issue diagnosis on heart issues, but isn't it wise to get a second opinion from two cardioligist and see which opinion is better so we are not being mis-diagnosed. On the other hand, it is unwise to keep the same doctor, when the symptoms are getting worst. Also, it should be acceptable to have multiple doctors who we select from for different specialities they posses. So, it is a flawed argument from the cities that a lay person cannot chose between cardioligists, because they have not studied medicine. In fact, everyone choses doctors and lawyers they trust and change when needed."
Due to the division of the resources in four cities, foreign looters were attacking and harming all four cities, and they were not able to defend on their own. They claimed that it is impossible to form the original one estate of Muhammad now, so the best option is to live in one of the city estate and follow their rules instead.
In fact, these four cities fail to realize that there is nothing wrong with having multiple rules to run different part of the estate, but the central estate has to be one. If there are conflicts in rules, the best rule should be adopted that is closest to the original rules of Muhammad. Of course, this has to be done by the experts, and a process has to be established. Unfortunately, the leaders of these four cities does not want to go against their forefathers and leave the power for unity, so they will not allow debate between two cities.
Yes, there will be more debates, and conflicts, but the estate of Muhammad will be formed, and thats the definition of the unity, and everything else is a loss, however peaceful it is.
May Allah protects this small group from the opression, and taunts from the powerful cities, and guide them to bring about unity.
And the story continues...
JazakAllah Khairin
An outsider to four cities
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
Once upon a time, there was a kind person named Muhammad lived with his wife in a small village. Allah gave him four sons, Hanif, Malik, Ahmad, and Shafee. He loved his sons, and taught them good manners, and how to worship Allah. All four were the most obedient, and pious. Later, Allah gave him more sons and daughters, but these four were the most prominent ones.
Muhammad taught all of his kids that they are like limbs of a single body, and if one would suffer, others should cry out in pain. Also, that regardless of disagreements they should follow his teachings, and stay united so the outsiders cannot take advantage of them. He also taught them that disagreement will not harm them, but dividing into separate groups will.
One day Muhammad passed away leaving behind a big state and many children, but he ordered in his will that the estate should never be divided, because their strength was in the unity, and all his children should live together. All his children understood this, and taught their children the same message.
The estate was too big, so each of the four eldest divided responsibilities, and setup rules to help their children complete tasks, but the central control was still the core rules setup by Muhammad. Each of the four rules were based upon wisdom, and knowledge, but they were not same, since created by a human being.
On occassion, there will be conflicts, where two brothers rules contradicted each other, and a solution has to be reached. So, all will gather together, and debate to figure out which rule should be used. Usually the brother Hanif's rules be used since he had the skill to extrapolate in new situations. Slowly, most of their children used rules from Hanif, but some still used rules from other brothers. All brothers have commanded their kids to accept the other brother if their argument has the direct teaching of their grand father Muhammad, because all of them were following his rules. In essence, if any of the rule contradicted an explicit rule of Muhammad, it must be abandoned, and the brother who got the correct rule should be followed.
Despite the different rules, some children would follow the best of all four rules, because they had learned the art of deriving rules. There was a brotherhood at the core of the family, and everyone stayed together in the same estaet, and the size of the family kept increasing. Unfortunately, all of the children of Muhammad passed away one by one, but his grand children were maintaining the unity, and staying with one identity of the estate.
After many years, several generations were passed, and new generation were now running the estate. They did not like the arguing on the rules, and wanted to stablize the rule system so there are less conflicts. Also, the pride in the family lineage took hold of some of the people in the family, and they begin to identifying the original rules of the four brothers, and started to adopt rules solely based on their father from those four, and started rejecting the rules from other three brothers. These were the richest of the family, so they were able to implement their version of rules for their part of the estate. Everything was still normal, because they all lived together, but there was a certain pride to their rule system now.
In fact, there were always people in the family who debated and fixed problems with the rules as new situation arise in the estate, but they always kept the rules of Muhammad to be unchanging, and allowed changes to all other rules. This kept the unity among them, and protected against any foreign influence. This was the golden rule that was never to be broken. They are not allowed to form other estates, hence weakening the family.
However, the movement to establish four rules independent of each other won, and the estate was divided into four different functional bodies, each following a certain rules from the original four brothers. This worked for a while, but after a while, it became clear that the four functional parts of the estate has become separate estates in themselves, and cannot function as a single estate. This was due to the strict adherence to the single set of rules, and no allowance for deabte from other parts of the estate.
After several years, the estate of Muhammad became the four estate, and were moved to different cities. Hence, the brotherhood ended, and estate of Muhammad was lost. Conflicts on the rules were reduced, but the cost was too high, because now the people identified as the new four estates more than they identified as the original estate.
Four city estate ruled that if one becomes the resident of the city, they are not allowed to visit the other cities, or work there. In essence, they claimed that a person must follow the rules of the city in all circumstances to be protected from the foreign looters and the King who owned everything.
However, there was a small group of people lived outside the cities, who worked in all four cities, and kept the original rules of Muhammad alive. The small group of people living outside worked on bringing unity among the four cities, and wanted to remove illegal and illogical rules from the rules of the four cities. Interestingly, they were labelled as the spies of the other cities, when they argue against a certain rule to be baseless, and yelled at or threatened. On one such occassion, a person asked "Can we live in this city, but follow some rules that seem more correct from the explaination of the leader of the other city?" answer was "NO! NO! once you sign up here, you must follow all rules good or bad. "
One powerful analogy given by the cities to the minority group living outside the city is "How do you know what is best for you? Don't you need a cardioligist to diagnose heart issues, and you should trust his opinion over the opinion of a non-cardioligist?" Answer given "Yes, it is true that one has to be cardioligist to issue diagnosis on heart issues, but isn't it wise to get a second opinion from two cardioligist and see which opinion is better so we are not being mis-diagnosed. On the other hand, it is unwise to keep the same doctor, when the symptoms are getting worst. Also, it should be acceptable to have multiple doctors who we select from for different specialities they posses. So, it is a flawed argument from the cities that a lay person cannot chose between cardioligists, because they have not studied medicine. In fact, everyone choses doctors and lawyers they trust and change when needed."
Due to the division of the resources in four cities, foreign looters were attacking and harming all four cities, and they were not able to defend on their own. They claimed that it is impossible to form the original one estate of Muhammad now, so the best option is to live in one of the city estate and follow their rules instead.
In fact, these four cities fail to realize that there is nothing wrong with having multiple rules to run different part of the estate, but the central estate has to be one. If there are conflicts in rules, the best rule should be adopted that is closest to the original rules of Muhammad. Of course, this has to be done by the experts, and a process has to be established. Unfortunately, the leaders of these four cities does not want to go against their forefathers and leave the power for unity, so they will not allow debate between two cities.
Yes, there will be more debates, and conflicts, but the estate of Muhammad will be formed, and thats the definition of the unity, and everything else is a loss, however peaceful it is.
May Allah protects this small group from the opression, and taunts from the powerful cities, and guide them to bring about unity.
And the story continues...
JazakAllah Khairin
An outsider to four cities
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Marraige in Islam
In the Name of Allah.
All praise is due to Allah, the creator, the sustainer.
Any mistake I make is from my ego, and any good that I say is from Allah.
Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “The most blessed nikah is the one with the least expenses.” [Bayhaqi]
One of the pious person was talking about a recent wedding of a close relative they attended, and with great pride he spoke about hundreds who participated in the Nikah, and Valima. I was puzzled to hear this, because I remember the hadith above which clearly states that it is better to keep the expenses at the lowest for Nikah ceremony, if one wants to get blessings of Allah.
It is not too surprising, because it is quite common in Pakistani/Indian families to glorify and spent thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars/rupees. I didn't pay too much attention to this fact until I came across this hadith. It is certainly not haram to spend all your money in your daughter's wedding, but it is sad to see the avalanche of peer pressure it creates.
When I proposed my marriage over the pay phone, and performed the Nikah with 4 or 5 men, one of them a catholic, inside the Masjid in Queens NY, I didn't realize that I was receiving the best marraige a Muslim can hope for. Since that day, my life has been filled with more blessings then I can count, Alhamdulilah ir RabilAlameen. I was as broke as you can be, and with no hope of finishing education. However, I did spend on Valima, because my mother and my sisters were really upset about the fact that they couldn't follow all the hindu traditions of Mehndi, and Mayoon. Looking back, it wasn't even my idea, because I wouldn't go to Masjid for Jum'aa either, but agreed to it, since I can Marry for free in the masjid.
So what is the wisdom in Prophet (PBUH) saying the above? It is very clear that marraige has become a transaction that scare most of us, and keep most of us bachelor, because we need alot of money for the hall, food, gifts, clothes...etc, the wife has to be perfect with the beauty with no match in the family, or at least from a family that has a higher status in the society.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:“Nikah (marriage) is my Sunna. He who shuns my Sunna is not of me.”(Muslim)
If, for some reason the marraige doesn't workout, and the daughter comes back home, it is not even possible to remarry, because the debt from the first marraige is not even paid off yet. Also, men run away from a divorced women like a plague. The companions were opposite of this, and will make sure that no woman is without proper support and a husband.
Months of planning and a big bank balance is required to get married nowadays, but why? Who are we trying to please? Ourselves? Our new spouses? Shouldn't we try to please Allah?
On top of all this, haram activities have become norm, and a successful marraige ceremony need to have a DJ, and a non-Mahram hip-shake fest. Hindu traditions are being kept alive in the hearts of young muslim boys and girls. Money spent alone can make the marraige an activity out of reach from many poor families, and the women wait years to get married. Some of my mother's sisters are still not married. It is not because they have some defect or have bad character. It is because we have change the rules of the game, and made it impossible for them to get married.
Let the non-muslims run after the most luxurious weddings, and we, muslims, should follow the command of Muhammad bin Abdullah (PBUH).
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
Would you lke to practice Islam? Marry as early as you can. Choose a pious person over wealthy. Marry for their character, and marry them in the simplest way possible. You will not regret it InshAllah. Marry your daughters and sons, as soon as they are able to earn money, and do not follow the path of the people who compete each other in this world, if and only if you believe in Allah and the last day.
The mutual rivalry for piling up (the good things of this world) diverts you (from the more serious things), Until ye visit the graves. " (Quran 102:1-2)
JazakAllah Khairin
A struggling Muslim
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
All praise is due to Allah, the creator, the sustainer.
Any mistake I make is from my ego, and any good that I say is from Allah.
Prophet Muhammad (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “The most blessed nikah is the one with the least expenses.” [Bayhaqi]
One of the pious person was talking about a recent wedding of a close relative they attended, and with great pride he spoke about hundreds who participated in the Nikah, and Valima. I was puzzled to hear this, because I remember the hadith above which clearly states that it is better to keep the expenses at the lowest for Nikah ceremony, if one wants to get blessings of Allah.
It is not too surprising, because it is quite common in Pakistani/Indian families to glorify and spent thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars/rupees. I didn't pay too much attention to this fact until I came across this hadith. It is certainly not haram to spend all your money in your daughter's wedding, but it is sad to see the avalanche of peer pressure it creates.
When I proposed my marriage over the pay phone, and performed the Nikah with 4 or 5 men, one of them a catholic, inside the Masjid in Queens NY, I didn't realize that I was receiving the best marraige a Muslim can hope for. Since that day, my life has been filled with more blessings then I can count, Alhamdulilah ir RabilAlameen. I was as broke as you can be, and with no hope of finishing education. However, I did spend on Valima, because my mother and my sisters were really upset about the fact that they couldn't follow all the hindu traditions of Mehndi, and Mayoon. Looking back, it wasn't even my idea, because I wouldn't go to Masjid for Jum'aa either, but agreed to it, since I can Marry for free in the masjid.
So what is the wisdom in Prophet (PBUH) saying the above? It is very clear that marraige has become a transaction that scare most of us, and keep most of us bachelor, because we need alot of money for the hall, food, gifts, clothes...etc, the wife has to be perfect with the beauty with no match in the family, or at least from a family that has a higher status in the society.
The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said:“Nikah (marriage) is my Sunna. He who shuns my Sunna is not of me.”(Muslim)
If, for some reason the marraige doesn't workout, and the daughter comes back home, it is not even possible to remarry, because the debt from the first marraige is not even paid off yet. Also, men run away from a divorced women like a plague. The companions were opposite of this, and will make sure that no woman is without proper support and a husband.
Months of planning and a big bank balance is required to get married nowadays, but why? Who are we trying to please? Ourselves? Our new spouses? Shouldn't we try to please Allah?
On top of all this, haram activities have become norm, and a successful marraige ceremony need to have a DJ, and a non-Mahram hip-shake fest. Hindu traditions are being kept alive in the hearts of young muslim boys and girls. Money spent alone can make the marraige an activity out of reach from many poor families, and the women wait years to get married. Some of my mother's sisters are still not married. It is not because they have some defect or have bad character. It is because we have change the rules of the game, and made it impossible for them to get married.
Let the non-muslims run after the most luxurious weddings, and we, muslims, should follow the command of Muhammad bin Abdullah (PBUH).
Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #3090, Narrated Abu Hurairah, r.a.
Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said, 'When someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.' [Tirmidhi, Nasa'i and Ibn Majah transmitted it.]
Would you lke to practice Islam? Marry as early as you can. Choose a pious person over wealthy. Marry for their character, and marry them in the simplest way possible. You will not regret it InshAllah. Marry your daughters and sons, as soon as they are able to earn money, and do not follow the path of the people who compete each other in this world, if and only if you believe in Allah and the last day.
The mutual rivalry for piling up (the good things of this world) diverts you (from the more serious things), Until ye visit the graves. " (Quran 102:1-2)
JazakAllah Khairin
A struggling Muslim
AbuArman (Adnan Jumani)
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